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I Promise to Hate, Despise, and Abuse You until Death Do Us Part Marriage in a Narcissistic Age, by Andrea V. Oelger, Troy W. Martin
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Christian counselors recommend this book about difficult narcissistic husbands and how they affect you, your family, your church, and your social life. You can read books about narcissism but not many from a Christian perspective. Have you ever thought of divorcing your husband but struggle with your church's stand against divorce? You really need this book. This book discusses the divorce texts in the Bible and explains why the Bible permits you to divorce your narcissistic husband and also remarry if you choose. Please stop letting your husband or even your church misuse these Biblical texts to keep you locked up in your destructive marriage. God never intended for you to be a verbal or emotional punching bag, and this book will free you to leave or divorce your narcissistic husband. In this book, you will also read about the Christian teachings of male headship and female submission and how your narcissistic husband can use these teachings to control and manipulate you. This book exposes him and demonstrates that the Biblical teachings of male headship and female submission are not about domination and control but all about providing what you need to become the wonderful person you were created to be. If you choose to stay with your difficult husband, this book gives you strategies for how to deal with him. If you decide to stay, you definitely need these strategies to survive him and his destructive narcissistic behaviors. Order this book and read it. It will help you just as it has helped so many other women.
- Sales Rank: #685914 in Books
- Published on: 2011
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Paperback
- 128 pages
- Paperback: 128 pages
- Publisher: Bookend Publishers, Inc.
- Language: English
Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Positive Review
By lighthouse
I recommend this book to any woman who is being abused in any way by her husband. I Promise To Hate, Despise, and Abuse You Until Death Do Us Part can also be read by women who are in a dating relationship as well. This book has three parts: recipe for toxic marriages-narcissistic ingredients, preservatives of the toxic narcissistic recipe, and making the narcissistic recipe less toxic. This book has six chapters. The book gives a list of recognizing abusive and narcissistic behavior in your spouse. There are several stories from women who describe what living in a narcissistic relationship is like. For women who live in a "religious" marriage, this book will tell her what the truth is about male headship and female submission. It will also tell her the truth about divorce. I really appreciated reading the story in this book from a pastor who supports leaving a narcissistic marriage and getting a divorce. At the end of the book it will also tell you what to do, if you choose to stay. This book is small, thin, and easy to hide from your spouse. This book really opened my eyes.
18 of 21 people found the following review helpful.
Book For Christians Involved in a Marriage with a Narcissist
By O. Merce Brown
****
This is a book that will only appeal to Christian readers, as it is filled with Biblical quotes and based upon Christian perspectives. It is primarily the author's view, with some studies and external references thrown in. I disagreed with some of her interpretations, but others I was in agreement with. I think that if you read this book knowing that it is just one woman's perspective, it can be very helpful; if the reader allows herself/himself to think about the ideas put forth here there is much that she/he could gain. If the reader is looking for scientific studies or objective perspectives or even secular viewpoints, these would not be found here.
The book starts out describing narcissistic marriages. The second part of the book discusses various Christian ideas and interpretations of the Bible that perpetuate narcissistic marriages and why these are wrong--not Biblical and not supportive of the non-narcissistic spouse. The last part of the book, which is the shortest, but in some ways the strongest, discusses strategies that can be implemented if you choose to stay in your marriage with a narcissist either temporarily or permanently.
The book acknowledges that abuse takes place both with male and female narcissists but focuses primarily on marriages in which the narcissist is the male, because it is far more prevalent.
I thought it was good book about a little-discussed topic.
Recommended.
****
11 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Saving my life!
By Aimee Smith
Out of all of the self help books I have bought throughout the my life, this one truly turned me around. All of the other books were on how to make myself look better, change my ways so I could be loved. Surface type stuff. I found my life back when I read this book at how I have suffered at the hand of narcissistic alcoholics. No way to make these relationships work b/c I would have to change the dynamic woman that I truly am. I'm finally taking a stand for myself and keeping my eyes open and ears closed to those who are so harmfully critical of me. If you have no other books, this is the book to have. I learned so much about myself and how I have truly learned to attract positive people and energy into my life and say no to toxic entities! LOVE this book! If you do nothing else about your situation, read this book. You will find that these narcissists need you more than you need them. Can't say enough great things about it and read it in an evening! Thank you Andrea V. Oelger! You are an incredible woman!
Aimee Smith
Jefferson City, MO
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